During dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke at all; but when the servants
were withdrawn, he thought it time to have some conversation with his
guest, and therefore started a subject in which he expected him to shine,
by observing that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness. Lady
Catherine de Bourgh’s attention to his wishes, and consideration for his
comfort, appeared very remarkable. Mr. Bennet could not have chosen
better. Mr. Collins was eloquent in her praise. The subject elevated him
to more than usual solemnity of manner, and with a most important aspect
he protested that “he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour in a
person of rank—such affability and condescension, as he had himself
experienced from Lady Catherine. She had been graciously pleased to
approve of both of the discourses which he had already had the honour of
preaching before her. She had also asked him twice to dine at Rosings, and
had sent for him only the Saturday before, to make up her pool of
quadrille in the evening. Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people
he knew, but he had never seen anything but affability in her. She
had always spoken to him as she would to any other gentleman; she made not
the smallest objection to his joining in the society of the neighbourhood
nor to his leaving the parish occasionally for a week or two, to visit his
relations. She had even condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he
could, provided he chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit in
his humble parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the alterations
he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself—some
shelves in the closet up stairs.”🔗
“That is all very proper and civil, I am sure,” said Mrs. Bennet, “and I
dare say she is a very agreeable woman. It is a pity that great ladies in
general are not more like her. Does she live near you, sir?”🔗
“The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane
from Rosings Park, her ladyship’s residence.”🔗
“I think you said she was a widow, sir? Has she any family?”🔗
“She has only one daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive
property.”🔗
“Ah!” said Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, “then she is better off than
many girls. And what sort of young lady is she? Is she handsome?”🔗
“She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine herself says
that, in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh is far superior to the
handsomest of her sex, because there is that in her features which marks
the young lady of distinguished birth. She is unfortunately of a sickly
constitution, which has prevented her from making that progress in many
accomplishments which she could not have otherwise failed of, as I am
informed by the lady who superintended her education, and who still
resides with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to
drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies.”🔗
“Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies at
court.”🔗
“Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and
by that means, as I told Lady Catherine one day, has deprived the British
court of its brightest ornament. Her ladyship seemed pleased with the
idea; and you may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those
little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. I have
more than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter
seemed born to be a duchess, and that the most elevated rank, instead of
giving her consequence, would be adorned by her. These are the kind of
little things which please her ladyship, and it is a sort of attention
which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay.”🔗
“You judge very properly,” said Mr. Bennet, “and it is happy for you that
you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether
these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are
the result of previous study?”🔗
“They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I
sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant
compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give
them as unstudied an air as possible.”🔗
Mr. Bennet’s expectations were fully answered. His cousin was as absurd as
he had hoped, and he listened to him with the keenest enjoyment,
maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance,
and, except in an occasional glance at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in
his pleasure.🔗
By tea-time, however, the dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet was glad to
take his guest into the drawing-room again, and, when tea was over, glad
to invite him to read aloud to the ladies. Mr. Collins readily assented,
and a book was produced; but, on beholding it (for everything announced it
to be from a circulating library), he started back, and begging pardon,
protested that he never read novels. Kitty stared at him, and Lydia
exclaimed. Other books were produced, and after some deliberation he chose
Fordyce’s Sermons. Lydia gaped as he opened the volume, and before he had,
with very monotonous solemnity, read three pages, she interrupted him
with:🔗
“Do you know, mamma, that my uncle Phillips talks of turning away Richard;
and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire him. My aunt told me so herself
on Saturday. I shall walk to Meryton to-morrow to hear more about it, and
to ask when Mr. Denny comes back from town.”🔗
Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr.
Collins, much offended, laid aside his book, and said:🔗
“I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of
a serious stamp, though written solely for their benefit. It amazes me, I
confess; for, certainly, there can be nothing so advantageous to them as
instruction. But I will no longer importune my young cousin.”🔗
Then turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist at
backgammon. Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge, observing that he acted
very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements. Mrs.
Bennet and her daughters apologised most civilly for Lydia’s interruption,
and promised that it should not occur again, if he would resume his book;
but Mr. Collins, after assuring them that he bore his young cousin no
ill-will, and should never resent her behaviour as any affront, seated
himself at another table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.🔗